"And underneath it all is the quiet thrill of moral superiority, because if your pain has a name, then your behavior has a pass." Love this, brilliant piece Ash very much echoed a lot of my feelings on "trauma" or therapy speak bleeding into normal life
I feel like I have so much to say but also like you've said it all and than some! Honey!😂 You have been obvserving this generation of ours soberly.
This was beautiful and a truth so many need to hear, especially those in their 20s downward. It's necessary, because the victim mentality that we are being fed causes diarrhoea😂 as a side effect of too much self importance.
It's like we are being groomed to be the weakest link in all generations of mankind, everyone is a victim. Even brands endorse the coolest victim, it pays to be a victim that has the therapy and woke language as their native language.
Everyone is glorified for being a victim, everyone gets more views and likes for being an amazing victim. It is annoying and sickening at this point, I avoid social media platforms because it's not a virus I'm willing to catch just for the sake of not missing out.
There is no place for the real you in all this victimhood mentality masked as "sensitivity training" that seems to be going on. You either fall in line or you get cancelled because you're not reciting the script.
The biggest thing for me is how my personal convictions seem to be something I'm expected to lay down so I can "hold space" for someone else's feelings. 😂 It's like you're asking me to put down my bag so I can carry yours just so your hands are free as we talk. 🤷🏽♀️ Make it make sense ma'am.
Feelings matter more than convictions it started with this therapy language. It is crazy and exhausting, so I checked out🤷🏽♀️😂 so that the majority can enjoy their individual "trips" on the latest drug called delusion.
Anyways, it's July Ash and I'm excited 😇 no pressure. This topic you have discussed here NEEDS to be on the podcast. The world needs to hear it. 🙏🏽
Sorry for the delay, have been tending to a sick pup but thank you for taking the time to write all of this. I loved this 'It's like you're asking me to put down my bag so I can carry yours just so your hands are free as we talk.' 👏🏻 - podcast coming soon! delayed a bit because of said sick pup, but we're close! ✨
Okay, I'll confess here… I couldn't wait so I downloaded what I could find on your YouTube channel and so I have like 8 audio clips as I wait for the podcast. Patiently 🤧👀😂
Anyways, sorry about your baby I hope he gets better soon. And don't stress about the time, we will wait because you're worth the wait. Create from a place of rest and we will cling benefit more from your work as we have been.
Yes, and self-critique and honest evaluation of yourself is vital to true growth. Nowadays, running away from hard necessary conversations is called “protecting my mental health” instead of calling it what it is. I can't remember who said this but its something like “Give no new names to old vices.”
This requires telling yourself the truth first, because you can't lie to yourself and be truthful to us. Calling it what it is matters, you're not protecting your peace Maggy, you're being a coward and avoiding having to tell him it's over.
“To thine own self be true.” Even now, those words are necessary. 🤷🏽♀️
Indeed, and I think the disconnect that many have when they hear “To thine own self be true,” is they think that means "live your truth." But it is more tell yourself what is objectively true, even if you don't like it.
I have been sitting here by myself, in my little red stuffed chair, where I like to think and write, listening to you over and over and over again. I prefer to hear your voice because it is real, not generated by AI, that always has such a weird inhuman cadence while feeling like the person who wrote the piece is just too busy or too lazy to actually speak their words out loud. I listen and then pause it, go back and listen again, just so I can absorb your words, your insight, your voice. This piece of yours resonates to me because this is all I hear anymore, and yes, from people who have not earned it. One of my favorite lines of your is; “ Mainlining Instagram carousels and Podcast clips to sound like gospel”. Truer words have not been spoken. Over and over I hear others use these “terms” and think to myself that they are only repeating someone else’s jargon. Today, no one takes the time and effort to earn these words or thoughts. They all want to sound brilliant, invested, “wise beyond their years”, when all It is, is constant mimicry and repackaging what others say, and I must admit that it really annoys me. That said, “Thank You” for being clear, calling it was it is and has become, a default vocabulary for those who don’t have or don’t want to take the time to learn it and earn it. It is all about the packaging and repackaging without the depth and ability to hear someone else’s response, and that is what I love about you. You speak the truth, gently, clearly and plainly so there is no room for misunderstanding. I hope others listen, actually listen to you and read your words, and then just maybe stop spewing and mimicking other’s words that have actually already been taken from someone else as well. Thank you…… and i am so sorry for the rambling.🥺 With a truly grateful heart.
Not rambling at all, thank you so much for taking the time to share and I'm so happy it resonated with you and you feel my frustration and I'm not alone in it. So grateful to have you here!
I wept when I read this several days ago, and again reading it now. The saturation of Better Help ads have always made me uneasy, trading our real relationships with somebody who is invested with us for a paid ear. Seeking wisdom from elders who love us and who have lived is traded for somebody with a degree and the most recent set of guesses on what makes humanity human.
I weep because this social media self-help world destroys. "It's better than saying nothing" ...that is the problem, it isn't better than saying nothing. In many ways it is markedly worse than saying nothing. You see "the signs" in somebody else that you just discovered in a fifteen second reel. And as these waves of pride stroking affirmations wash over us, we are lulled into thinking we are perfect and we perfectly see the problem is entirely in the other person.
"There’s a strange violence in how polite it all sounds. Not direct enough to fight with, not honest enough to learn from. Just clear enough to end the conversation and make you feel like the unstable one for wanting to keep talking."
This poison destroyed a nearly twenty year marriage. And no amount of patience and kindness can reveal the lie of these therapy-shaped insights. They can't be argued or reasoned with because then you are gas-lighting or manipulating, "you’ve just been filed under problematic". You are left with prayer and turning the other cheek. These lessons have been the richest and yet most painful of my life. This recent history has grown my faith more than it has in the decades prior. I have had these words and thoughts you shared unformed in my mind for several years now. And I thank you for sharing them now.
If I had the money to pledge, you would certainly be the first and probably only one on the platform I would fund. Your writing never fails to cut straight through me. Most of the time when I read something, I have thoughts on how I would have done it different or better. But when I read your posts or listen to your videos, I can have the peace of simply listening to one who does it well and transparently.
Jay, now I'm the one who's weeping. Thank you for your kind and poetic words, they mean so much to me and I'm so moved this piece resonated with you the way it did. Thank you for being here 🙏🏻✨
Wow, therapy-speak is not the norm in my circle so when I hear someone use it seriously (instead of throwing the words like 'trauma' around), it genuinely seems to connote healing. But I can see how in other spaces, including some digital ones, it can be used for the opposite purpose - to avoid rather than confront/invite.
This therapy speak has come to infect so many relationships. It is a jargon meant to isolate people from candor and ultimately caring. You spend some time in the presence of someone using it, and you come to realize it crowds out their humanity. "Who am I speaking to?" you wonder. Is this a person I once knew, or is it someone who's become convinced that they can substitute a lexicon for genuine conversation?
as a psych degree holder, THANK YOU
"And underneath it all is the quiet thrill of moral superiority, because if your pain has a name, then your behavior has a pass." Love this, brilliant piece Ash very much echoed a lot of my feelings on "trauma" or therapy speak bleeding into normal life
Thanks so much Kieran!
I feel like I have so much to say but also like you've said it all and than some! Honey!😂 You have been obvserving this generation of ours soberly.
This was beautiful and a truth so many need to hear, especially those in their 20s downward. It's necessary, because the victim mentality that we are being fed causes diarrhoea😂 as a side effect of too much self importance.
It's like we are being groomed to be the weakest link in all generations of mankind, everyone is a victim. Even brands endorse the coolest victim, it pays to be a victim that has the therapy and woke language as their native language.
Everyone is glorified for being a victim, everyone gets more views and likes for being an amazing victim. It is annoying and sickening at this point, I avoid social media platforms because it's not a virus I'm willing to catch just for the sake of not missing out.
There is no place for the real you in all this victimhood mentality masked as "sensitivity training" that seems to be going on. You either fall in line or you get cancelled because you're not reciting the script.
The biggest thing for me is how my personal convictions seem to be something I'm expected to lay down so I can "hold space" for someone else's feelings. 😂 It's like you're asking me to put down my bag so I can carry yours just so your hands are free as we talk. 🤷🏽♀️ Make it make sense ma'am.
Feelings matter more than convictions it started with this therapy language. It is crazy and exhausting, so I checked out🤷🏽♀️😂 so that the majority can enjoy their individual "trips" on the latest drug called delusion.
Anyways, it's July Ash and I'm excited 😇 no pressure. This topic you have discussed here NEEDS to be on the podcast. The world needs to hear it. 🙏🏽
Sorry for the delay, have been tending to a sick pup but thank you for taking the time to write all of this. I loved this 'It's like you're asking me to put down my bag so I can carry yours just so your hands are free as we talk.' 👏🏻 - podcast coming soon! delayed a bit because of said sick pup, but we're close! ✨
Okay, I'll confess here… I couldn't wait so I downloaded what I could find on your YouTube channel and so I have like 8 audio clips as I wait for the podcast. Patiently 🤧👀😂
Anyways, sorry about your baby I hope he gets better soon. And don't stress about the time, we will wait because you're worth the wait. Create from a place of rest and we will cling benefit more from your work as we have been.
Much love🙂
The victim competition is exhausting and ends any chance of healing and growth, not to mention any chance of self-critique. Well said comment.
Yes, and self-critique and honest evaluation of yourself is vital to true growth. Nowadays, running away from hard necessary conversations is called “protecting my mental health” instead of calling it what it is. I can't remember who said this but its something like “Give no new names to old vices.”
This requires telling yourself the truth first, because you can't lie to yourself and be truthful to us. Calling it what it is matters, you're not protecting your peace Maggy, you're being a coward and avoiding having to tell him it's over.
“To thine own self be true.” Even now, those words are necessary. 🤷🏽♀️
Indeed, and I think the disconnect that many have when they hear “To thine own self be true,” is they think that means "live your truth." But it is more tell yourself what is objectively true, even if you don't like it.
Personal, subjective truths are no truths at all.
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 You nailed it!
I have been sitting here by myself, in my little red stuffed chair, where I like to think and write, listening to you over and over and over again. I prefer to hear your voice because it is real, not generated by AI, that always has such a weird inhuman cadence while feeling like the person who wrote the piece is just too busy or too lazy to actually speak their words out loud. I listen and then pause it, go back and listen again, just so I can absorb your words, your insight, your voice. This piece of yours resonates to me because this is all I hear anymore, and yes, from people who have not earned it. One of my favorite lines of your is; “ Mainlining Instagram carousels and Podcast clips to sound like gospel”. Truer words have not been spoken. Over and over I hear others use these “terms” and think to myself that they are only repeating someone else’s jargon. Today, no one takes the time and effort to earn these words or thoughts. They all want to sound brilliant, invested, “wise beyond their years”, when all It is, is constant mimicry and repackaging what others say, and I must admit that it really annoys me. That said, “Thank You” for being clear, calling it was it is and has become, a default vocabulary for those who don’t have or don’t want to take the time to learn it and earn it. It is all about the packaging and repackaging without the depth and ability to hear someone else’s response, and that is what I love about you. You speak the truth, gently, clearly and plainly so there is no room for misunderstanding. I hope others listen, actually listen to you and read your words, and then just maybe stop spewing and mimicking other’s words that have actually already been taken from someone else as well. Thank you…… and i am so sorry for the rambling.🥺 With a truly grateful heart.
Not rambling at all, thank you so much for taking the time to share and I'm so happy it resonated with you and you feel my frustration and I'm not alone in it. So grateful to have you here!
Bravo Ash. As always hit it right it the head. Bravo!
Thank you Pedro!
Another great piece, Ash!
Thank you!
I wept when I read this several days ago, and again reading it now. The saturation of Better Help ads have always made me uneasy, trading our real relationships with somebody who is invested with us for a paid ear. Seeking wisdom from elders who love us and who have lived is traded for somebody with a degree and the most recent set of guesses on what makes humanity human.
I weep because this social media self-help world destroys. "It's better than saying nothing" ...that is the problem, it isn't better than saying nothing. In many ways it is markedly worse than saying nothing. You see "the signs" in somebody else that you just discovered in a fifteen second reel. And as these waves of pride stroking affirmations wash over us, we are lulled into thinking we are perfect and we perfectly see the problem is entirely in the other person.
"There’s a strange violence in how polite it all sounds. Not direct enough to fight with, not honest enough to learn from. Just clear enough to end the conversation and make you feel like the unstable one for wanting to keep talking."
This poison destroyed a nearly twenty year marriage. And no amount of patience and kindness can reveal the lie of these therapy-shaped insights. They can't be argued or reasoned with because then you are gas-lighting or manipulating, "you’ve just been filed under problematic". You are left with prayer and turning the other cheek. These lessons have been the richest and yet most painful of my life. This recent history has grown my faith more than it has in the decades prior. I have had these words and thoughts you shared unformed in my mind for several years now. And I thank you for sharing them now.
If I had the money to pledge, you would certainly be the first and probably only one on the platform I would fund. Your writing never fails to cut straight through me. Most of the time when I read something, I have thoughts on how I would have done it different or better. But when I read your posts or listen to your videos, I can have the peace of simply listening to one who does it well and transparently.
Jay, now I'm the one who's weeping. Thank you for your kind and poetic words, they mean so much to me and I'm so moved this piece resonated with you the way it did. Thank you for being here 🙏🏻✨
WOOOOO SPEAK ON IT
“… because if your pain has a name, then your behaviour has a pass.”
This quote really captures the essence of online therapy-talk.
the way that most of therapy-speak has also been generated by chatgpt 😭 people be doing everything but sit with their emotions lol
Haha, yes!
Wow, therapy-speak is not the norm in my circle so when I hear someone use it seriously (instead of throwing the words like 'trauma' around), it genuinely seems to connote healing. But I can see how in other spaces, including some digital ones, it can be used for the opposite purpose - to avoid rather than confront/invite.
This is so beautiful, thankyou
This therapy speak has come to infect so many relationships. It is a jargon meant to isolate people from candor and ultimately caring. You spend some time in the presence of someone using it, and you come to realize it crowds out their humanity. "Who am I speaking to?" you wonder. Is this a person I once knew, or is it someone who's become convinced that they can substitute a lexicon for genuine conversation?