26 Comments
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Andy Bates's avatar

This brings back to me a quote I read a few years back. "The person who enjoys walking will walk further than the person who enjoys the destination." I completely agree that life is a process. It's like a load of side quests, if you are anything like me, you maybe still struggling to identify the main quest. Perhaps there isn't one 🤔. I have read many "life" , philosophy, self help books. Your writing is different, more honest, more useable. Thanks

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ASH's avatar

I love that quote! Thank you so much for sharing and for your kind words… they really mean a lot to me 🙏🏻☺️✨

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juju's avatar

Love this, Ash. It screams “you need to reflect on what you believe in”. ‘Cause maybe I was operating on someone else’s idea of ‘best version of myself’.

It’s very timely as well because for the past few years, I’ve been focusing on ‘becoming’, and as I go through it, I feel like it’s an endless pursuit that I am not even sure if it aligns with what I truly desire. So, my focus right now is to just be. Instead of becoming, focus on being.

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ASH's avatar

Yes! This. All of this... just BE. I'm so happy for you! ✨☺️

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Kiira's avatar

I found this because of your YouTube video!! I'm loving your writing and your voice is so beautiful <3

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ASH's avatar

Thank you so much! 🙏🏻✨

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Georgia's avatar

I resonate with this so much! I literally cut my hair yesterday expecting this big transformation but I’m still me, going about the same life, just with shorter hair 😆

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ASH's avatar

Haha! I feel this deeply. Although a new hair cut does have a certain feeling even if we are the same person after it! ✨

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Grace Cultivar's avatar

“Become who you are,” is one of my favorite quotes and yet, I come against this frustrating notion time and time again that I have to reinvent myself. Delete everything, start a new brand, make new accounts. Bleh. I’m tired of trying to force a change. I’m joining you in the act of just being self, today as I am. Thank you.

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ASH's avatar

Music to my ears, Grace! I've been there so many times and it's just exhausting. doesn't mean we can't change but it shouldn't come from any external need and only what's pushing us internally to make necessary changes for ourselves, not anyone else. ✨

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Adu's avatar

The moment I realized I was living for other people (people I love dearly, at that) and that my life was a grand performance of who they expect me to be, my reinvention started. And months later, it’s still going. And I suspect it’ll keep going for a long time. I find myself catching ways that don’t truly feel me and my days and nights are full of efforts to undo those habits.

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ASH's avatar

So many of us go our whole lives living for other people... coming to that realization in my 30s means there's a lot of history to work through. Layers to remove that I don't need to carry anymore. As you said, I'll be at this for a long time, but at least we came to the realization, right? So happy that you did! ✨☺️

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Kamela's avatar

Ugh, I loved this. Especially the part about the child dog. I can totally relate. 😉

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ASH's avatar

I'm glad I'm not alone on that one ☺️✨

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Michael Oxenrider's avatar

I really like the tone of this piece. Honest, funny and relatable.

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ASH's avatar

Thank you so much Michael :)

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Maya Islam's avatar

I’ve read all of ur essays and I’ve never felt so seen seriously. It gives me the feeling that I am talking to my wise future self 🥺❤️ keep it up, I am a big fan of urs ✨

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ASH's avatar

Thank you so much Maya! That means so much to me. So happy to have you here ☺️✨

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Nightmare Hunter's avatar

This was the perfect thing to wake up to! Love the way you write. As for wanting to reinvent yourself, I feel that so much. There are days where I wake up and wish I could change everything chaotic in my life,, with a snap of my fingers, or change how I react to things etc. Then I remember that I can't,, so I do the small things, the things I'm able to change. Like eating a better breakfast, doing stretches. Learning to give myself the ability and,chance to,, allow things to be slow but still progress forward. Nonetheless, I'm still learning to,, be the current version of myself.. and not the perfect one

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ASH's avatar

I love that idea of current not perfect version of myself… so well said!

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m. de mingo's avatar

this resonated with me so much! I kept waiting for my 'She's All That' moment when I'd go through a full makeover and be noticed by people I wanted to see me. only to realize everyone is waaaay too busy thinking about themselves to notice anything else. the validation had to come from within, unfortunately, and that's a lesson I'm still learning - how to give myself grace and notice myself first instead of waiting for others to do that for me.

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ASH's avatar

First of all, LOVE the ‘She’s All That’ reference… you are my people. That’s likely where this idea was birthed for me as a young teenager hoping her own Freddie Prince Jr. would come along and see her. But I feel ya, just because you make the discovery doesn’t mean implementing isn’t hard. It’s a daily struggle for me to not change myself to fit in. But the important part is the self-awareness. We both have it, so… that’s a start! ✨

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Em's avatar

You write so well. It’s a lifelong process, like identity chiropractic; at some point, somewhere, it will stay adjusted. Maybe.

Also, I hate that damn owl.

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ASH's avatar

I love that, ‘identity chiropractic’ it’s so true! As is my dislike for the damn owl. 🦉

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Feb 25
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ASH's avatar

Not off my list, at the top! I have a deep love for Bridget Jones so that is such a compliment. Thank you! 🙏🏻☺️

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Feb 25
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ASH's avatar

Thank you Carol Anne! 🙏🏻✨

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