This is making me feel calm in ways I never felt. It's healing and reassuring that I may be an outcast but not wrong. And kudos to the voice actor! (I don't know if it's the author herself or not.) I am an aspiring author and poet. I want to learn so much from you. I sincerely admire your writing style and ability to portray feelings through words. Thank you, Ash. Please keep going with whatever you're doing...
Ugh, the urge to be productive to validate your own existence vs just experience life as it is, is a tough one. Specially when the world is full of overachievers and the ‘work hard and stay hungry’ discourse. I guess to follow soft ambitions is the way to keep external expectations at bay.
My life experience has shown me that as long as I keep working for the thing (whether in a soft way or work hard way)… it will still show up. So why work myself into the ground if I can get there in a way that serves me and my life better. It’s not easy. We’re so conditioned in that work hard/play hard mindset… I just want people to see there is another way 🥰✨
I really relate to this a lot! Recently went into full time self employment and have let myself just be a lot (and felt a range of weirdness about it). Found no schedule allowed me a lot of creativity but not a lot of productivity, so trying to find a balance of rough schedules and trial and error. Still not quite there but good to know others are right there with me
Congrats on full time self-employment! It's definitely a change and it takes some getting used to to find any semblance of "balance" - but personally I wouldn't have it any other way. I just feel like i'm living life for and not for someone else, and that's the most rewarding. ✨
Thank you for writing this - I relate so much to what you shared. I still feel a tension of wanting to be "quietly, softly ambitious", but I am trying to understand myself better, and to enjoy my pace.
Judging your self worth by how productive you are is super relatable, and I agree life isn't black and white. You don't always have to choose your dreams over something else.
I am a recovering Black and White Thinker. Life in binary is what I've spent a lot of my life living until I started finding the out-of-the-way cozy corners where I could lie down for a few minutes. Read or scroll or sip my chai while staring out the window. Those places are the mental ctrl alt del of anxiety. Almost always I come away renewed and ready to dig back in on the whatever project I'm working on. I appreciate the reminder that the in-betweens are just as much a part of the whole.
I am seeing this at a time in my life when I have tried so many different ways to make myself more and more productive so that I can rest… but I find that I’m most productive when I don’t put the work first. When, exactly how you start your days, I put slowness and intention as my priorities. Otherwise I stop being myself, and I become my work… not in a healthy embodied way, but as if when I’m not working I don’t exist. Thanks for sharing your journey and helping remind us to give ourselves permission to live our lives our way. Doesn’t mean we’re necessarily less ambitious, it just means we come before those ambitions. Xx
You're just beginning, and the fact that you have this awareness at your age is gold. Please don't lose sight of that! I try really hard to not be that too pushy or too soft self-help advice. I'm just writing from my lived experience. Do I wish I came to these conclusions sooner? Of course... but would I have come to them without all my past experience? No. --I'm really glad this piece resonated with ✨☺️
This is making me feel calm in ways I never felt. It's healing and reassuring that I may be an outcast but not wrong. And kudos to the voice actor! (I don't know if it's the author herself or not.) I am an aspiring author and poet. I want to learn so much from you. I sincerely admire your writing style and ability to portray feelings through words. Thank you, Ash. Please keep going with whatever you're doing...
Thank you so much Nancy, I’m so happy the piece resonated with you in this way.
And yes, it is my voice ☺️🙏🏻✨
Ugh, the urge to be productive to validate your own existence vs just experience life as it is, is a tough one. Specially when the world is full of overachievers and the ‘work hard and stay hungry’ discourse. I guess to follow soft ambitions is the way to keep external expectations at bay.
My life experience has shown me that as long as I keep working for the thing (whether in a soft way or work hard way)… it will still show up. So why work myself into the ground if I can get there in a way that serves me and my life better. It’s not easy. We’re so conditioned in that work hard/play hard mindset… I just want people to see there is another way 🥰✨
I really relate to this a lot! Recently went into full time self employment and have let myself just be a lot (and felt a range of weirdness about it). Found no schedule allowed me a lot of creativity but not a lot of productivity, so trying to find a balance of rough schedules and trial and error. Still not quite there but good to know others are right there with me
Congrats on full time self-employment! It's definitely a change and it takes some getting used to to find any semblance of "balance" - but personally I wouldn't have it any other way. I just feel like i'm living life for and not for someone else, and that's the most rewarding. ✨
Thank you for writing this - I relate so much to what you shared. I still feel a tension of wanting to be "quietly, softly ambitious", but I am trying to understand myself better, and to enjoy my pace.
I love your newsletter and your Youtube channel.
Thank you so much Patricia! I’m so glad you could find some bits to relate to ✨❤️
Judging your self worth by how productive you are is super relatable, and I agree life isn't black and white. You don't always have to choose your dreams over something else.
I am a recovering Black and White Thinker. Life in binary is what I've spent a lot of my life living until I started finding the out-of-the-way cozy corners where I could lie down for a few minutes. Read or scroll or sip my chai while staring out the window. Those places are the mental ctrl alt del of anxiety. Almost always I come away renewed and ready to dig back in on the whatever project I'm working on. I appreciate the reminder that the in-betweens are just as much a part of the whole.
I hope to reach this level of self-awareness one day
It’s a blessing and a curse 🙃
I am seeing this at a time in my life when I have tried so many different ways to make myself more and more productive so that I can rest… but I find that I’m most productive when I don’t put the work first. When, exactly how you start your days, I put slowness and intention as my priorities. Otherwise I stop being myself, and I become my work… not in a healthy embodied way, but as if when I’m not working I don’t exist. Thanks for sharing your journey and helping remind us to give ourselves permission to live our lives our way. Doesn’t mean we’re necessarily less ambitious, it just means we come before those ambitions. Xx
Ash, you might like my post Calm Productivity: https://neurodivergentnotes.substack.com/p/calm-productivity
You're just beginning, and the fact that you have this awareness at your age is gold. Please don't lose sight of that! I try really hard to not be that too pushy or too soft self-help advice. I'm just writing from my lived experience. Do I wish I came to these conclusions sooner? Of course... but would I have come to them without all my past experience? No. --I'm really glad this piece resonated with ✨☺️